Broken Vessels: May 2014

When I was asked to write a blog post I was a little intimidated by the idea. What would I write? What would I say? But then I realized it doesn’t matter what I say, it’s what God wants to say through me. If I seek him, he will guide my words and direct my thoughts to mirror his glory.

Since I moved here life has changed dramatically - a new country, a new culture, a new home, a new school, and new friends. With all these changes, my faith has been challenged in many ways. I miss home. I miss all the memories of friends and family, but I know God wants me to look ahead and trust what he has planned for me here (Proverbs 4:25 Look straight ahead, and fix your eyes on what lies before you). Even though I know all this in my head, deep down my heart still feels the weight of grief from leaving all that I knew. I feel as though a piece of my heart has been ripped away that only Jesus can mend, but it has been hard for me to let him. I don’t want to give up everything I hold onto so dearly. This is where faith and flesh collide. Through all of this, God is showing me that HE is the only one I should cling to; He is the only one that can lift this burden of sorrow and fill my empty spaces. He is the only One that can carry me and set my feet on solid ground. My faith will only be strong when I allow His arms to carry me. Some encouragement my mom has given me along the way is: You will never be able to fully experience all God has for you when both hands are still holding on behind you. The more you let go back there, the more you will be able to embrace all God has for you here. Walking by faith is trusting that God will carry you after loosening that grip and eventually repositioning your hands, holding tightly to Him. It is my decision what and whom I will choose to hold onto - what lies behind me or in front of me - my burden or my God. I have had to ask myself, "Do I believe what I say I believe?" Do I truly trust God with my life? It is here that His truths and His promises become real to me. It is in this place, my faith is lived out and I learn to depend on God alone - remembering only one thing in life stays the same, one thing stays constant and that is Jesus. Jesus wants my faith to be that same way. Unwavering. So much has changed but one thing is for sure - He is the one thing unchangeable!

Going to the international school has been a turning point in my life as well as my faith. This is a great example of how God takes a hardship in life and uses it to bring about something good. At first I had a hard time getting used to the concept of "regular" school. After being homeschooled your entire life and then going into school for your first year of high school, in a different country, is harder than it seems. I started school with the idea that it would be easy to stand firm in my faith - believing I was strong. The problem was that “I” wasn’t. I realized how much my faith had been lived out in my own strength. As a result, my confidence began to waver and I felt as though my faith was at times compromised (where I blended in versus standing apart) only trying to fit in with the other students at my school. Until now, my faith has never really been tested. So what was it made of?

I neglected talking with God and being fully transparent with my family. I tried to fight this battle on my own. I regret some of the choices I made (or didn't make) to try and become someone I wasn’t. It took the weight of my conscience too heavy to bear, before I realized where I was heading. My parents always told me (as God says in His Word) to be in the world but not of it, but I was slipping into it. It all seems silly now; giving into the momentary satisfactions to become a part of the way of life here, but God in His mercy saved me. By God’s grace, he redirected my attention to what he was calling me to and who He was calling me to be. Even though I have made right with God and my parents, I still feel the world rising against me at times. It is a battlefield out there. But God’s power and strength are there daily to help me and deliver me from it, and His Word is my best defense. I just have to choose the right weapon. He is helping me become salt and light in El Salvador. He is teaching me to be His disciple. This is not faith in what I know but faith lived out. Peace in life comes when you stop riding the fence and firmly decide where you stand. You cannot love God and the things of this world. 1 John 2:15 says, "Do not love the world or anything in the world. If anyone loves the world, love for the Father is not in them." As I spread my wings out in the world, my need for God becomes greater. I now truly realize how much I need God everyday if I am going to live the life he created me for and face the temptations that daily come my way.

Finding a true friend here has been challenging. I have made many friends at school but not many share the same values as me or are true followers of Jesus Christ. Part of the reason I came here was to use school as a mission’s field but still desiring a friend in the faith. I have been praying for that even before coming here. I started to worry. All the fears of not having a true friend rushed into my mind. It sucked the life right out of me. In that time, God revealed to me that HE needed to be that friend first. After surrendering that to Him, God’s power revealed itself. He brought a girl about my age from church into my life. Her name is Maddie. We have gotten to know each other pretty well over these last months. Through God’s amazing works and far greater plans, she and her brother recently joined the school I go to. How crazy is that? This was more than an answer to prayer because even though seeing them at church was great, having that connection at school has been even greater. What seemed impossible, God made possible! He took that opportunity and answered my prayers in ways I never could have imagined by giving me a friend in the faith to walk beside every day. I am so grateful for the ways God shows me He is in the smallest details of my life and that He delights in giving good gifts to me.

Through these experiences I’ve had, God has shown me what it really means to follow him. I had been reading the book "Not a Fan" by Kyle Idleman and watching a video series with my parents called “Christian”. These have taught me more in depth of what a true follower of Jesus is; the difference between calling yourself a Christian and being a true disciple of Jesus. God is also teaching me that when we are called to do something (when God calls us by name), He wants our hands to be raised high. When our hands are raised, we allow God to work in us and accomplish his will in full surrender. When we drop our hands, it's as if we are saying, “ I can do it all by myself.” This is illustrated in the Bible with Moses. When he lifted his hands, God did great things. (As long as Moses held up his hands, Israel would win, but as soon as he put his hands down, the Amalekites would start to win Exodus 17:11). That is what I want God to do in my life; with my hands raised high, I am victorious because God is then able to fight the battle for me. I am so grateful God brought me here. I don’t care how much it has cost me, I am so thankful for what He has taught me over these past nine months. I don’t think I could have learned what it truly means to follow Christ unless I moved here. There was a need to test what my faith was made of. James 1:2-4 "Count it all joy, my brothers, when you meet trials of various kinds, for you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness. And let steadfastness have its full effect, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing." I pray that God will teach me immeasurably more than I can imagine, even more than He already has. He is making me complete!

I want to encourage you not to cling too tightly to what you have. It could be gone in an instant. Hold loosely to what was never yours to begin with and allow God's good and perfect will to be done and His glory to be seen. Raise your hands high and watch God do immeasurably more than you ever could or thought possible. I hope Jesus is your one and only (not just in words) for He is the only one who can fill your empty spaces and the only one that can carry your burdens and fight your battles victoriously - if you let him! Only He can take those burdens and make something good come from them. He is carrying mine. Have you trusted him to carry yours? Have you raised your hands in complete surrender to Him?

Thank you all for walking this journey with me even though we are thousands of miles apart :) I love and miss you all!

Skyler Schuenke

Direct me in the path of your commands, for there I find delight.
Turn my heart toward your statues and not toward selfish gain.
Turn my eyes away from worthless things; preserve my life according to your word.
Psalm 119:35-37

Maryfer, Steffany, Skyler and Maddie at Family Fun Day held at the International School

Sports Day during Spirit Week at School

One of my favorite parts of ministry…feeding the homeless with some of the Envision Wired staff!

My siblings and I participated in a school event called "Taste of the World". Each class had a role in representing another country with food and dance. (Our friend Nestor from the ministry joined us)