Broken Vessels: Stripped Naked

A PIECE OF MY HEART

Yes you read it right! Stripped Naked! That is not only how I have felt lately but the best way to describe what God is doing in my heart. It is surely not a comfortable place to be not to mention a vulnerable place to be. If you have kept up with my past blogs, you will remember "the waiting room" I was in…well now I think I've moved from "the waiting room" into "the Doctor's office" only to find more waiting. Only this time, the waiting becomes a bit more uncomfortable. The good thing about it...I am one step closer to hearing from the Doctor :) All of it is drawing me closer to God, closer to the throne room, closer in His presence, closer to the whispers of His voice. I believe what is happening is I am getting a spiritual physical! As my heart is examined, more is revealed and more stripping is necessary. So many times we think God is breaking us down to make us stronger, but I am learning God breaks us down to make us broken! Humble...

I am watching God do the "stripping" process in my life; having to take me down a little more in order to build me up again His way, for His future purposes. I fight God, and thankfully I am losing, just as Jacob and Paul discovered, when you fight with God and lose, you still win. As Paul put it, "When I am weak, then I am strong. HIS strength is made perfect in my weakness." In order to be in that place, I must be made broken. Broken of myself…my plans, my abilities, my desires, my expectations, my self-confidence, my pride. In my nakedness, it is only me and God. Everything else is stripped. There are no accomplishments, no victories, no blessings…no hindrances. It is just me and God. It is in "the Doctor's room", when I am stripped of everything, that I am quiet enough to hear God's voice. Because God knows how we are - he made us that way. He knows we are more receptive to tenderness than to harshness. He designed us to be more apt to remember whispers than shouts. So He whispers. The more I am stripped, the closer I am drawn to His presence and the more clear those whispers become. What is the diagnosis? More waiting. More listening. More revealing…and ultimately…more stripping. All preparing me for "the Doctor's orders" when the "the Doctor calls".

LAYING IT DOWN

Recently, God has asked me to lay another area of my life down. My plans for Makai. As most of you know, I have homeschooled him since we have been here. This decision was made due to his anxieties and fears as it relates to his safety and being separated from us. Even though homeschooling is illegal in El Salvador, we were fortunate enough to be able to have this option given our temporary residency at this point. These past weeks brought about some unexpected changes in our schedule and a new direction that would help equip us better for future ministry here. Part of what this means is the need to enroll ourselves in a more intense, formal spanish training program at a school here in San Salvador. Who this impacts the most right now is Makai. It will mean enrolling him in school. This has not come without prayer and forethought. We absolutely see God's hand in preparing us for this time. Makai is at the school every day spending time while we are there for the girls after school activities and because it is a small school, most kids and teachers know him and can call him by name. He has his spanish tutoring at the school 3 times per week with the lady who will end up being his actual teacher. We never intended that to happen but it is where God led us…didn't realize He was already paving the way for his future. So, we see the hand of God and trust God will use this for his good.

Please pray for this transition in these next weeks. Pray as God prepares Makai's heart…pray as God prepares mine. A mothers heart is hard to let go of, and selfishly, this mother does not want to give up her plan for him. I must rest in the fact that God knows best and once again let go of my grip remembering he (Makai) is God's child first before he was ever mine. God has put the pieces together so far…and He will, piece by piece, make a perfect workmanship I know the benefit and need for the ministry to be able to understand, speak, read and write the language which limits us otherwise. It is another part of me, my plans, my desires (wanting it all), being asked to lay them down before the King in humble surrender. God's ways are not our ways…if I want to experience the fullness of God, I must not focus on the bigness of my need but on the bigness of my God and His abilities. I never want to figure God out because I always want to be in constant amazement of who He is! So there in lies the battle. I want to figure it all out, but then I would miss the greatness of God and His glory! So, more stripping necessary…

What God promises is a life of total transformation and a stripping of the former self in pursuit of godliness. It comes with a cost! God is teaching me less about being a Christian and more about what it means to be His disciple. In the pursuit of godliness, one must be stripped naked…"throwing off everything that hinders them and the sin that so easily entangles"(Hebrews 12:1). Unlike Eve, who was forced to stand naked before God, not only naked in her skin, but naked in her sin. God, because of His remarkable grace and mercy, killed an innocent animal in order that she not be "naked in her skin" any longer. And He gave his Son as an innocent lamb to the slaughter so that you and I would no longer be naked in our sin but rather clothed in righteousness. So here I stand…stripped naked…only to be dressed in His righteousness alone! My anchor holds within the veil!

OUR HAPPENINGS & EXPERIENCES

Staff training on dealing with addictions (useful as the ministry Broken exists to reach those who struggle with addictions and help rehabilitate them through Christ).

Visit from Carol and Roy: Member Care Counselors for Alliance. Able to spend a short period of time talking through our transition as a family to El Salvador. Received training on cultural change and transition.

Visit from Jim Malone, Vice President of International Ministries for the Christian & Missionary Alliance. Gave staff a global overview of the C&MA, Envision and its vision.

Able to bring a little bit of tradition here by cutting down our first Christmas tree in El Salvador. Not common but thankful to find a place with a tree farm who sells them :)

Asked to volunteer at the girls school to read a story and share an activity with two classes to celebrate reading week. Was able to read a story about God's love and share the Gospel through the Wordless Book and hand out bracelets to all the kids.

Volunteered with other staff members in a nearby town called Quetzeltepeque for a Children's Christmas Outreach Program. Shared the Christmas story and the Gospel message to nearly 75 mothers and children.

Hosted one of our interns over Christmas break by having him stay with us through the holidays.

Attended a candlelight Christmas Eve service…a beautiful picture painted of the Christmas story as we worshiped "The Savior" born to us.

Raeleigh adopted our newest member of the family for Christmas…a baby bunny named JoJo!

Skyler was asked to be part of the worship team for youth Sunday at Union Church.

Praising God for answered prayer as we received our Provisional Residential VISA. A lengthy process that went smoothly which determines whether you are able to stay in country for a certain length of time. One step closer to getting our Residential VISA which is good for one year.

We have the privilege of using the Mullinax family jeep as our means of transportation while we are here as they have been blessed with a vehicle from the states. I began driving in El Salvador recently which is not only an experience but an accomplishment.

Experienced another earthquake with a magnitude of 5.5. Lots of shaking…lots of praying!

Volcano eruption in San Miguel leaving thousands of people displaced. We felt the aftermath with smoke smell and ash.

Hiked the San Salvador/El Boqueron Volcano with Skyler, Raeleigh and friends which took us a total of 5 hours down to the crater and back to the top.

MINISTRY PRAYER REQUESTS

Pray for the thousands of people displaced due to an erupting volcano in San Miguel and how the ministry might help in relief efforts. Currently, the ashes have ceased but it is now emitting gasses with a possible threat of another explosion, this time with lava.

Pray for the transition some of our staff will be making into a building close by the mission site that houses The Love Link (ministry that serves malnourished babies). The extra space will allow staff to continue working when the construction starts on expanding the Envision building in a few months in order to open up more space at Wired.

Pray for wisdom in timing and decision-making for the opportunities God puts in our path for the development of new ministry partnerships.

Pray for the coordination of a flag football team with the members of Wired staff who would participate in an organized league with the purpose of rubbing shoulders with deportees who will make up a majority of those teams.

Pray for the baby steps being taken for a start-up church to reach the thousands of deportees (men and women) coming into San Salvador by the month. Pray for creative, outside the box ways to reach them and the opportunity to connect them to the church.

Pray for God to raise up future interns for short and long-term ministry at Envision. The ministry is expanding rapidly and will need additional staff to fulfill current and anticipated ministry needs.

Pray the enemy does not have his way within the ministry by the division of relationships but for unity and single-mindedness as we preserve and represent the body of Christ.

PERSONAL PRAYER REQUESTS

Pray for our daily walk with the Lord, to seek His face, cling to His Word, rest in His lordship as He strips us free of that which stands in the way of running the race marked out before us.

Our family and the transition to our schedule as we move forward with language school and Makai to the International School.

Pray for the additional funds needed ($6,000 total for both James and I) to do the necessary language courses over the next year and half.

Praise God for answered prayer: we have all been healthy, safe and provided for. God is developing new friendships for our family. One in particular is a like-minded, Christian friend for Skyler named Maddie. Please continue to lift our physical needs up in prayer.

Pray for our mindfulness, balance and living out our relationship priorities: God, spouse, children, ministry…

Makai sharing the Gospel and handing out Wordless Book bracelets

Training with Member Care from the Alliance on "transition"

Tree farm where we cut our first Christmas tree in El Salvador

Mullinax kids and ours loaded up with our Christmas trees

Volunteered at International School sharing story about God's love through the Gospel

On our way to the village in Quetzeltepeque

Sharing the Christmas story

Serving the kids at Father's Heart

Serving a Christmas meal to the men and women and their families of Metamorfosis,

a ministry providing job skills and employment to ex-gang and ex-prisoners.

Celebrating Christmas with some of our interns, Spencer (back) and Daniel (front)

Raeleigh making a gingerbread house with a friend from school

Christmas Eve candlelight service at Union Church

Skyler and Maddie

New member adopted into the family…JoJo

Merry Christmas from the Schuenke Family (at the home of Sam & Julie Hawkins,
missionaries in El Salvador for almost 30 years)

Raeleigh and Eseona

What will we find next roaming around in the house?

This is what Spencer (intern staying with us over Christmas) found and left for us one morning

Volcano errupted in San Miguel, El Salvador

Sam Hawkins, founder of Vinculo de Amor (Love Link) shown here on the front page
of a local newspaper. This is the organization we are partnering with and are currently
moving some of our staff into their building. They are widely recognized in El Salvador
and have appeared in many newspaper articles and television news
---always in a positive light.

"Uniting El Salvador by a link of love". It is both humbling and exciting to be a part of this
exciting ministry (words of our Site Leader, Ricardo Mullinax)